Self Triptych- 2.6.17

Do not judge a book by its cover.

This photo from my triptych represents the beauty and strength in my life. The lipstick represents being able to put on a strong yet beautiful face and go out into the world and being able to take on the day.  In better words, this is thee me I cast out into the world. I added the soft lighting and a warm tone in order to represent the soft emotion and feeling of innocence to enhance the beauty aspect of things.

This is the main focus of the project, hence why it is in the center. As somebody who struggled with a lot of pain from abuse from multiple in my life all at once, both mentally and physically, I have gone through a lot of dark times and done a lot of dark things. I enhanced all my old scars with make up to draw the eye to them, as they tell a story, and are the main focus in this photo. I also added dark make up to my eyes to show the pain. When developing this photo, I also added a cold light to once again enhance the dramatic feeling of pain, torture, and struggling to even survive.

This is the end photo. And the photo that represents me today. Though it was a hard battle to get through, from dealing with the abuse, getting rid of the abuse, and dealing with depression and suicidal tendencies, I fought. And I fought hard. Against myself, against those hurting me, against life. Then I survived, and now, I thrive. This is what that photo represents; me being a fighter as I resist the tension of weight from the machine, the strength shown in the lighting enhancing my muscles, and now surrounding myself in a good environment, as all the workout equipment represents the tools I use around me in life to continue to fight to be who  I want to be, and to continue to be stronger

1)This work does tell a story. A very dark, harsh, yet uplifting story. It shows my life in the past, as well as current. In the middle of the project, you have me sitting in the center of the floor, thighs and wrists bloody from cutting and suicidal tendencies, with dark tears streaming down my face. The photos surrounding it show the strength in me now, and how I have bettered myself. However, the picture of me in a dress and high-heals whilst putting on lipstick with a full face of make up represents the me that I cast into the world, and my capabilities of being able to put on a beautiful face, and march into the world like nothing is wrong and smile and laugh with people. The last photo, of my in the gym working my back and my lats on a weight machine, showcasing the muscle that I have so far built, and being surrounded by other workout equipment show the me today that overcame the amount of pain I went through, and how it helped me to become stronger, and how I continue to fight and better myself.
2)Problems I encountered while working on this piece were how to get the correct angle with a few of the pieces, especially since they were self portrait. I overcame this a few different ways, but mostly just taking a lot of photos for each scene, which took up a lot of time. For example, the main photo of me and my scars took a while because I had to try and find the best way to show the scars, and had to do it over many times. I tried full body, while standing straight up and made make up look like it was dripping off of my fingertips, however that made the scars look little. I tried a few other poses such as sitting up on my knees, laying on the ground, leaning against the wall curled into a ball of tears and blood, etc. Until this photo was taken, and I knew this was the one; my face had the outcome I was looking for, and my scars were clearly the focus of the image, and were easily visible. The photo of me putting on lipstick had the same problem. I tried at first to get a shot form head to toe, but couldn't find the right environment for it, and some of the shots came out looking innappropiate since I couldn't find the right angle to put my camera at, and at some points it was as if the camera was looking up my dress. I overcame this by once again just trying different angles, some that weren't neccesarily head to toe until I got a snap I was happy with. The photo of me working out wasn't that problematic actually. I set the camera down and only took about 3 pictures, until I had one I was happy with. The only problem I encountered with that one would be trying to engage my muscles since I had just finished a long workout.
3)When it came to releasing this photo, I was very hesitant considering it tells a side of me that I'm not often open about unless I consider somebody a close friend, however I think it was a story I needed to tell, and this was the perfect project for it. In the end, I am very happy about how it came out. I think it was the perfect way to tell the story since the triptych provided more than just me crying with my scars,  but also let me provide the photos along with it such as me being stronger, or the me I put into the world.
4)This project also helps to show my learning skills as being very strong and evident, as in the beginning of the year I barely knew hot to use photoshop, yet now through these photos it shows that I can even change the dramatic intensity of the scene through warm or cold tones, where as in the beginning of the year I had a tendency to just over use brightness and contrast on my photos.
5) When people look at this piece, I really want them to focus on different things for each photo. In the middle photo with scars, I want them to notice the pain, depression, and suffering I was going through. In the photo of me applying the lipstick, I want them to notice the beauty and strength that I put on myself to go out into the world, and how I mask the pain I feel. Then in the last photo, I wish for people to see the growth in my life, and the strength I now possess, and how I continue ot be a fighter. Then when tying all of those pieces together, I hope people to see the overall story of growth and strength that I possess in order to get through the pain of abuse I used to suffer from.
6)Something I see form glancing to some of my other classmate's computers is a lot of people used overlays in their photos, and enhanced different textures to tell the story, and I however did not overlay one single photo. I didn't find myself to be particularly good at using other textures or other photos to enhance the story or feeling of a photo, so when brainstorming my project, I did not considering being able to sue an overlay. However if I were to do it over again, I still don't think that I would use an overlay.
7)If I had a chance to do this photo project over again, I would vary the background, and maybe travel to an outside location, and experiment with using different environments to see how it would affect the photo, such as a river, a forest, maybe a beach, or maybe even a suburban area.
8) Even though I said I don't think I would put an overlay in any one of these photos if I were to redo the project, I think I might try it or play around with it just to see how it would look. As even something to get to know and explore photoshop a bit more, as well as experiment with my own personal technique of developing.